Most the time we see and feel all the disadvantages and heartache of singleness, but the truth is, there is some good. In my last post I talked about six things that singleness doesn't mean for you(what-being-single-doesnt-mean-for-you.html), but in this post I want to talk about six things that singleness DOES mean for you.
1. TRUST Singleness is a hard place. Especially because we don't know if anyone will ever come along. And if they do, we don't know who it may be. It's a season of unknowns. A season of curiousity and questions. The reality is, we don't know God's plan. We don't fully understand His ways. We can't grasp why it is that we are single now, while others aren't. We can't comprehend how it takes little time for some to find someone while it takes years for others. We don't get why some marry and others don't. There is a lot we don't know and understand. And although we may not know what's next or what God is doing or what He has in store, we can trust that He is good. He is a loving, kind, and gracious Father who supplies our needs and fills our heart's desires. We can trust what we know. And that is that we have a loving, faithful, generous God. Don't allow yourself to focus on what you don't know or understand, but instead let the pages of God's truth fill your heart and be a steady Rock of what is known. We don't need to know or understand everything. We simply only need to know God and learn to TRUST that His ways and timing are perfect. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6 2. Growth Right now, as a single woman, you are in a season of growth. God wants to see you grow. He wants to stretch you. To challenge you! Now is a time to lean more deeply on Him, serve Him more humbly, trust Him more completely, and let His love fill you more fully so that you can grow to love more tenderly. Often times we are not nearly as prepared for a relationship as we think we are. Thankfully, God knows ourselves better than we do. Be open and humble enough to allow Him to change and prepare the areas of your heart and life that need it. God knows the places of ourselves that need work. That need purifying. The bits and pieces of us that aren't complete. He knows and He's working. Let Him do His work. Learn to GROW. 3. Opportunity Being single means opportunity for opportunity. While your single you are blessed with so many incredible opportunities that you might not be able to do as a married woman. Want to travel? Go for it! Hoping to experience overseas missions? Now's the time! Want to try something new? Why not now! Relationships come with responsibilities and commitments and a whole new set of things. Most likely meaning that your time and focus won't be the same. Single life allows you the freedom to experience things that you as a married woman probably won't get to experience. This is a season for opportunity. Don't waste it by waiting for what's next. Enjoy the time you have now. Both are blessings! Each different though. Both should be enjoyed by the opportunities they each uniquely bring. 4. Service We should be servants in every season of life, but singleness creates a unique opportunity for service. Without the responsibility of caring for a husband and children, our time and focus can be geared toward service. Instead of wallowing in self pity, take advantage of the time you have. Don't waste it! Pouring yourself into service will take your mind off what you don't have, and put it on the heart of God and needs of others. You will be blessed far greater by serving than by wasting away the days and opportunity of true servanthood. In what area/areas of service might God be calling you to in your season of singleness? "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him." Romans 12:1 5. Preparation This season of singleness means a time of preparation. None of us are ever as fully prepared as we think we are. We seek to become wives but are we ready to be one? We seek to run a home but are we ready to do so? We seek to care for a family but are ready for what that entails? We seek love and affection, but are we ready to selflessly give that? Truth is, no one is ever fully ready or prepared. Even when you are married, you will still be learning and growing. However, now is a perfect time to prepare for what that might consist of. Learn to plan and cook meals. Learn to clean. Learn to host. Learn to sew. Learn to budget. Learn to serve and love selflessly. Learn something new! Learn. We will always be learning and growing, but why not take advantage of the time we have now to learn all we can and build on that? 6. Prayer It's always a good time to pray. ALWAYS. Now is no exception. So pray. Don't seek to spend this season alone. Pray. Go to God. Tell Him how you feel. Tell Him your desires, your hopes, your fears. Tell Him, and then surrender it to Him. Give it all to God and allow Him to transform your heart through each prayer. Surrender your heart and your prayers and then begin praying for your future husband. That's right, pray for him. Even though you don't know who he is or where he is, you can be praying. Because, most likely, he is needing it. Pray for his heart. Pray for his salvation. Pray that He would grow in His knowledge and love for the Lord. Pray that he would develop a servant's heart and serve the Lord humbly. Pray that God prepares his heart for you and when you meet. Pray. Just pray. When you grow weary, pray. When you start to wonder and dream, pray. Continue to pray, always.
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Let’s all be honest, being a single girl can be challenging. Real challenging. Most of us desire to be in a relationship. We seek that attention and affirmation from a guy. We crave a good man we can make good memories with. We long for that season of being with someone, the season of engagement and marriage. Waiting for that season can be hard. Especially when everyone around you seems to be in those seasons and every other day there is a new announcement of a relationship, engagement, or marriage on your news feed. It’s difficult, yet it’s important to not get wrapped up in the discouragement of things. I think that sometimes, because we are single and waiting, we feel that we are entitled to some things. But that's not as true as we may feel. Here are 6 things that I have found to easily become a stumbling block for single girls. I encourage you to be on guard and be careful not to fall into these things.
1. Self-Pity. Let’s just be real here, being single really stinks sometimes. It can be discouraging, difficult, and just plain lonely. However, regardless of how terrible it may seem at times, we can not allow ourselves to fall into a state of self-pity. Just because our singleness seems super unfair at times it doesn’t give us a right to feel that it truly is unfair and that we deserve more. Because let’s be even more real here, what we really deserve is death. Praise Jesus for stepping in and taking that upon Himself to free us from what we truly deserve. It’s important to continually be focusing on what Jesus has done and saved us from, instead of focusing on how terribly unfair and horrible we have it because we are single. Being single can very much be a difficult thing. It’s often hard to understand why so many others are in relationships while you remain single. But it’s important to take these feelings to God and set our sights on how good He is, instead of how “bad” we think we have it. When we begin to look to Christ and to others instead of ourselves, we’ll begin to see just how incredibly good we do have it. “Whom do I have in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit grow weak; But God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.” Psalm 73:25-26 “Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless - like chasing the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 6:9) 2. Automatically abandon the home and family. The fact that God calls women to be homemakers and caretakers has been totally abandoned by so many in today’s world. Satan has made his way into the hearts and minds of women and put so many lies into their heads convincing them otherwise. Although our roles within the home and family is different from those who are wives and mothers, God’s call for us is still the same. As single women who have no prospects in view and are very seriously considering what to do with their lives for the given time, I highly encourage you to not automatically neglect the thought of home and family. There are times when God does call us elsewhere, but often times we really just don’t want to face the fact that God is calling us to pour ourselves into the home and family He has given us. Maybe you don’t have an immediate family and home that needs this of you, but I encourage you to pray for God to reveal to you if there is another home or family that you can serve. I know that as single women it’s easy to feel that because we aren’t a wife or mother that we have no other choice but to go out in the world and find a job or seek something else for ourselves, but that is not true. Sometimes God does call us out and to something different, but often times we don’t even seek Him to truly know. I encourage you as a single girl, to prayerfully consider what God has for you and not be so quick to abandon the home and family. “These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of the God.” (Titus 2:4-5) Let’s take the time even now, while we are single, to learn from the older women how to live wisely, be pure, work in our homes, do good, and serve those whom God has placed over us. Maybe it isn’t a husband during this time, maybe it’s your father.. Or another man of authority in your life. “Seek His will in all you do, And he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:6) “We can make our own plans, But the Lord gives the right answer.” (Proverbs 16:1) “Those who trust their own insight are foolish, But anyone who walks in wisdom is safe.” (Proverbs 28:26) 3. Throw yourself at every guy in a desperate attempt to get one of them to like you. When we aren’t getting the attention of guys it becomes easy to want to create attention to ourselves to draw ourselves to them in hopes that they will notice us. However, God calls us to be submissive and meek and quiet and gentle. Not flirtatious, flashy, and immoral. Proverbs 7:10-11( www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+7%3A10-12&version=NLT gives us an example of this type of woman and how through this Proverb, God is urging young men to flee from such a woman. First off, the woman is said to of approached the man. She made the first move. She threw herself at him in a desperate attempt to get his attention. Do you wait on the man to approach you or do you grow impatient and approach him? Second, she is said to be seductively dressed. Are you modest in your appearance or do you dress in such a way to draw sexual attention to yourself? She is also said to be brash. Brash is defined as hasty or rash, quick to take action. Are you quick to put yourself in the way of a man to get his attention? Thirdly, she is defined as rebellious and never content to be at home. Do any of these characteristics define you? Let us not live to be this type of woman - always drawing attention to ourselves and living rebellious lives. “And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.” (1Timothy 2:9-10) “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (1 Peter 3:3-4) 4. Pour yourselves in fleeting and foolish things. I think that it's easy to quickly become discouraged by the fact that we are still single and not yet married and therefore, without even thinking about it, throw ourselves into empty, meaningless things. Whether it's because we seek to distract ourselves or fill ourselves, we end up putting our time and effort into things that are fleeting and foolish. Things of the world, not things of heaven. It's easy to think that because we are young and have no one to answer to that we can enjoy the pleasures of the world. Yet, although we don't have a husband or a family to deal with, we have God to answer to. Is our work and energy going into things that advance His kingdom, or are they going into things that please our flesh and try to distract us from our sorrow or discomfort? The book of Ecclesiastes is a great book to read of how King Solomon learned that anything apart from Christ is meaningless. The things of this life and world are empty and fleeting. We can try to find and soak in all the pleasures we can, but it simply won't satisfy. Don't spend your time on things of this world because it will get you no where. Seek Christ and invest in His work! "Young people, it’s wonderful to be young! Enjoy every minute of it. Do everything you want to do; take it all in. But remember that you must give an account to God for everything you do. So refuse to worry, and keep your body healthy. But remember that youth, with a whole life before you, is meaningless." Ecclesiastes 11:9-10 5. Compromise Let us not become so desperate that we allow ourselves to compromise our standards for the sake of being in a relationship. Please, sweet girl hold tight and wait patiently for a man who seeks the same things as you and loves the Lord and desires to honor you and your relationship with Jesus. Obviously no one is perfect, but there are simply just some things you must not allow yourself to put aside just to be in a relationship. Evaluate your standards according to Christ and God's word and wait patiently for a man who meets those standards. No relationship is worth compromising for. You only end up in a far more lonely, hurting place. "They do not compromise with evil, but they walk only in his paths." Psalm 119:3 6. Give up hope Dear girl, no matter how long you have been waiting, no matter how worn and tired you are, don't give up hope. Delight yourself in God! And you know what? When we place our desires in God's hands, He takes care of us. In fact, He wants to give us the very thing our heart desires! Keep waiting, keep praying, keep hoping. God is good. Pour yourself into Him and you'll find that the things your heart desires won't consume you like they use to. "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you." Psalm 37: 4-5 Life as a girl can be difficult. It can also be beautiful. This world taunts and tempts us with so many lies that sometimes it's hard to know what's real and what's true. As we live and grow, we are going to face challenges. We need truth to help us live this difficult, beautiful life. As I reflect on what God has (and is) showing me as a seek to become a godly woman in the midst of a God neglected world, I've put together a list of 13 things I believe every young girl should know. Some are encouraging, some are down right hard to hear. However, we need a little of both. My prayer is that it would not only continue to be a reminder for myself, but I pray that it would challenge, convict, and encourage all young girls(and women) as they face the difficulties and beauty of this life.
ONE: Jesus and the cross is everything There is nothing of greater importance than knowing Jesus Christ and what He did for you on the cross. This world will try to offer you many things but nothing comes close to what Jesus has to offer you. If there is ONE thing that you can or could ever do right, it is to know and accept Jesus. If there is ONE thing you could ever do completely wrong, it would be to deny Christ. His life, His death, His resurrection is the single most important thing for you to know and understand. The power of Christ and His sacrifice on the cross holds the power to change your life. With it, you gain life. Without it, you lose it. Don’t even continue on until you know and understand what He has done for you. SEEK HIM above ALL else. TWO: You are a girl by God’s design You are a lady. A lovely lady made in the image of Christ. Understanding what that means and the beauty that lies within it is hard, especially in this twisted society. But, despite what this world says, being a girl is a truly beautiful and wonderful thing. God has designed us different than men, and His design is beautiful. You were made in the image of God. You were made to be a woman. Understand it. Embrace it. Live it.Understand that God’s design for a woman is not like that of man’s design. It’s different, yet it’s beautiful and lovely. This world will push you towards things that destroy God’s design for womanhood and erase femininity. We can’t live by the ways of the world. We must live by God’s way and His alone. I could spend pages telling you what I think it means to be a girl and what a lovely thing it is, but I challenge you to search the pages of His word to discover His design and the beauty of it. “To me, a lady is not frilly, flouncy, flippant, frivolous and fluff-brained, but she is gentle, she is gracious, she is godly and she is giving. You and I have the gift of femininity... the more womanly we are, the more manly men will be and the more God is glorified. Be women, be only women, be real women in obedience to God.”- Elisabeth Elliot THREE: Being you is a unique and beautiful thing Who you are is beautiful. God is both the creator of beauty and the creator of you. Therefore, you are beauty. He has knitted you together in your mother’s womb and designed you just as He desired. You are unique and wonderful. Ignore the world when it whispers in your ear that you need to be somebody or something else. You are not too skinny. You are not too fat. You are not too ugly. You are not too smart or dumb or quiet or loud. Who you are is who God intended you to be. You are different from others and meant to be unique in your own way. God is going to use your personality and individuality for something special. If you try to be someone or something else, you miss out on the something special God has planned. Being you is a unique and beautiful thing. Rejoice in that and embrace it for everything it is. Psalm 139:13-16 FOUR: Beauty is more than makeup and clothes Beauty is more than skin deep. We live in a material world full of material girls. Our culture has destroyed the meaning of beauty and made it vain and shallow. Dear girl, don’t search this world for the definition of beauty. Search God’s word. God’s word tells us that true beauty lies within. Don’t worry about your outward self-- your makeup, hair, clothes, and your body. Seek to become beautiful from the inside out. Cultivate a beautiful heart and spirit. Makeup, clothes, and fancy hairstyles are all fun things and can be wonderful and beautiful. BUT, true beauty must come from within. You can’t dress your outward self with makeup and fancy clothes and forget to clothe your inner-self with gentleness, quietness, and ultimately, love for the Lord. Beauty flows from your love for the Lord, not from the makeup and clothes you dress yourself in. 1 Peter 3:3-4 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. Proverbs 31:30 FIVE: You do not need a boyfriend You need only God. One of the biggest lies and temptations you will face is the lie that you need a boyfriend (or husband) to make you happy or to fulfill you. Let me warn you, a boyfriend will not solve your loneliness. A boyfriend will not complete you. He will not fix your insecurities and he will not meet all your needs. Don’t get me wrong, a godly relationship can be a truly beautiful and wonderful thing. But only when it is given by God… in His time. Understand that until you know the Ultimate Lover, Jesus Christ, you won’t experience the real beauty of a relationship. You may find yourself a boyfriend but until Christ becomes your all, it will only leave you more empty and unsatisfied. You do not need a boyfriend, you need only Christ. Ephesians 3:19 Isaiah 30:18 Solomon 2:7 SIX: Life is not a fairytale Before you go on with life and think that everything will fall into place just how you imagine or dream it to, slap yourself across the face and take note of this: Life is HARD< but God is faithful. It’s important and wonderful to dream big and develop deep desires but it’s far more important to leave those desires and dreams in the hands of God. Don’t expect all your dreams to come true and all your desires and plans to fall into place perfectly. Life is hard. You must expect and prepare for hardship, struggles, and pain. Don’t live life with a spoiled attitude but instead a humble one. Know that life won’t be perfect but that in that imperfection God is faithful and has a beautiful plan. Know that your desires and dreams will take hard work, prayer, and the hand of God. His picture for your life is far more beautiful than any fairytale. He will take the imperfection, pain, and struggles and turn it into a thing of beauty. Beauty and happiness do not lie in our dreamt up fairytales, but in God’s faithfulness in our lives. “The will of God is never exactly what you expect it to be. It may seem to be much worse, but in the end it’s going to be a lot better and a lot bigger.” Elisabeth Elliot SEVEN: Life is short, eternity is forever Your life here on earth will soon be gone. You can live it up and try to extend your days as long as possible, but the truth is, you will soon be gone. This life is temporary. This life is short in comparison to eternity. What you do with this life will affect how you spend eternity. If you chose to live it up and deny Christ, your eternity will be one of misery. You can have all the fun in the world and spend your days being thrilled and entertained, meeting each and every one of your desires. Yet, life on earth still ends and eternity is waiting. Don’t get so caught up in this world and its pleasures that it causes you to forget your Creator. For one day it will be too late. I tell you, dear girl, it’s better to seek your Creator and live a life of suffering here on earth then to deny Him for the pleasures of this world and spend an eternity in Hell. Life forever with Jesus is far better than any short-lived thrill here on earth. Ecclesiastes 11:9-10 Ecclesiastes 8:12 Ecclesiastes 12:1 EIGHT: You are capable Oh, how capable you are! You are capable, regardless of how young or how (old) you are. I don’t care how old you are. God doesn’t care how hold you are. He can use you and He will use you. He has given you talents and gifts and strength. He has made you capable. Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young. Just. Do. Great. Things. 1 Timothy 4:12 NINE: Friends come and go, but family is forever Be careful not to get so caught up in your friends that you choose to shut out your family. A time may come when those friends you chose over your family do not choose you… and your family will be all you have. Some friends may very well become your family, but often times, they simply come and go. They may move away or enter a different stage in life and you’ll soon become disconnected. However, your family is who God put you with from the beginning. Family is a forever bond. Remember that no friend is worth ruining that bond for. Enjoy your friends, but cherish your family. TEN: You don’t know it all As much as you think you do, you DON’T know it all. You don’t know what the future holds, you don’t know what will or won’t hurt you, and you certainly don’t know what’s best for you. You barely know right from wrong. You’re young and inexperienced. You’ve barely seen life. STOP thinking and pretending you know it all. Be open to advice, criticism, and correction. Be open to guidance and wisdom. Your parents, teachers, and elders have been through life and have experience in a lot of things you are going to go through. They know things and have knowledge to offer you. Quit resisting it and just simply take it all in. ELEVEN: Iron sharpens iron, so friends sharpen you. Choose wisely who you surround yourself with. Pick your friends carefully. Those who you spend your time will have an influence and effect on you. Some will lead you down a path of destruction- maybe quickly, maybe slowly. Flee from this sort of influence. Seek out those who will lead you to Christ and challenge you to become a better person. Choose to spend time with those that make wise choices and good decisions. Friends are good to have, for they can help you succeed. But choice wisely. “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17 Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 TWELVE: You have an enemy and he seeks to steal your soul This world we live in is a dangerous place. There is an enemy prowling around seeking to devour and destroy. (1 Peter 5:8) Satan, the enemy, is real and if you do not stay alert, He will attack. I kid you not. A vulnerable, young girl like yourself is a big target. As scary as it may be, I want you to know it’s true. I want you to open your eyes to the reality that you have an enemy and he seeks to steal your soul. I also want you to know that there is a way to overcome the enemy… and that is by the power of Jesus Christ. He has ALL power and He stands in victory over Satan. I highly suggest that you don’t strive to take on this world alone. Don’t step out without Christ and those He has given you on this earth to protect you. God has given us people to help guide us and protect us from the dangers of this world… for example, your father. He is a good, good gift given to you by God. He is meant to be your protector. Put aside your doubts and your desire to do things your way. Don’t leave his protection unless or until God offers you another source of protection. I urge you also to seek out protection, guidance, and wisdom from those who are older and wiser. Don’t be too stubborn, independent, or prideful to have help. The dangers of the enemy are not to be taken lightly. Suit yourself in the armor of God and don’t deny or resist the help and protection He offers through those He has graciously given you. Ephesians 6:10-17 THIRTEEN: You have a purpose Last but far from least, you have a purpose. And first and foremost, your purpose is not meant to be a self-fulfilling one, but a God-glorifying one. Your purpose on this earth is solely to bring glory to God. Don’t for a second think it’s to achieve happiness or fame or pleasure. No, your purpose is to bring glory, honor, and praise to the one and only, God Almighty. Each and every person has a different path, but we all have the same purpose. If your life doesn’t reflect that purpose, then stop and change directions. Serve and honor the God who gave you life. Become more like His Son. Live in such a way that others want to know King Jesus because of what He is doing in and through your life. Help advance His Kingdom. Deny yourself and talk hold of Him and the cross. Praise Him with your every breath. Lift His name higher and higher and higher. That and that alone is your purpose. 1 Corinthians 10:31 1 Peter 4:11 After writing Beautifully Bound, inside and out(which I highly encourage you to go read before continuing), I thought this would be a great follow up to that. I mean after all, modesty and beauty go hand in hand.
I wrote this article on modesty a few years back after God laid on my heart the need to not only remind myself of it but the world as well. Modesty is such a battle in today's world and I know I continue to fall short of an example of modesty. I admit first hand, I need the reminder and the push to keep trying. But with all that said, I thought this would be a great way to point out one of the ways to embrace and display the glorious beauty of God within. And that is, through the act of modesty. Here it is, plain and simple. -Have you ever thought of your body as a temple of God? Or that it does not actually belong to you? God tells us that our body is not our own, but a temple of His Holy Spirit, and that we must use it to honor Him. And in part of doing that is in the act of modesty. Today’s culture makes us think it’s OK to dress and act however we want. It tells us that it’s fine to show off my body and do whatever feels right. The label from the clothing brand, Xhilarition, pretty much sums up this cultures view of clothing. It tells girls that, “There are no rules. Whether you choose to dress crazy or dress to thrill-make a statement, make a scene, wear what you want and it won’t be wrong." But the truth is, it can be wrong. God calls us to be modest in the way we dress. And anything outside of that is wrong. He says in 1 Timothy 2:9, “And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.” Now, just to be clear, this isn’t saying we can’t have fun or be fashionable with our clothing, but that we must dress in a way that pleases God and displays modesty. As Mary K. Mohler says,”…there is nothing wrong with being stylish as long as your love for fashion does not supersede the good rules of modesty.” In order to understand the importance of modesty, I would first like to point out that Christ is to be Lord of our lives, and as Lord of our lives He is to have control of every area of it, including what we wear. By saying that God is in control, we must completely understand that and live that out. We can’t just say, “I’ll give you control in this area but I want to be in control of this or that, or I want to be in control of what I wear.” We often think that what we wear isn’t a big deal, so there is no need to take it to God. This motive is wrong. We must let Him show us what is right and what is wrong, even in what we wear. For He is Lord over everything. And after all, our body is not even our own, but His. For 1 Corinthians 7:19-20 says, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price, so you must honor God with your body.” So therefore, in all honesty, an immodestly dressed women is not only denying Christ lordship over her life, but is also giving away something that doesn’t even belong to her. If our body is not our own, but is God’s, shouldn’t we dress in a way that pleases Him? Shouldn’t we honor our bodies and model them in a God-honoring way? Yes we should. For God says in 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So whether you eat, drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” This includes the way we dress. We must put on clothes that will not disgrace ourselves and God, but bring Him glory and honor. Not only does dressing modestly honor God, but it also helps keep our brothers in Christ from sinning. We must remember that men battle and struggle with staying pure by the constant surrounding of the vision of women. We must respect them by dressing appropriately in a way so that they may not fall into sin. Most of the time we don’t even realize that what we are wearing can be sinful. Our society drags us into the thought that tight jeans, shirts, or any type of tight or short clothing is just normal. But really, that sort of clothing just draws attention to our body in the wrong ways. Flashy clothing, or clothing that really stands out can also do this. Clothing or jewelry that puts attention on the wrong areas can very easily lead to sin. We all love to have fun and show our personalities with our clothing, but we must be careful to do it in a way that will not put the attention on our bodies, but on our hearts. Hopefully you can now understand a few of the purposes and needs of dressing modestly. God calls us to be lights and stand out for Him. Matthew 5:16 tells us, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Let your modesty be seen and be an example to others. I challenge you to dress in a way that does not show off or draw attention to your outward appearance, but brings out your inner beauty, and the glory of God. As John Piper puts it, “Clothes are not meant to make people think about what is under them. Clothes are meant to direct attention to what is not under them: Arms and hands that serve others in the name of Christ, ‘beautiful’ feet that carry the gospel to where it is needed, and the brightness of a face that has beheld the glory of Jesus.” So therefore, let us live by the definition of Modesty: regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress; simplicity and moderation. May Christ be glorified. 1 Timothy 2:9 The Message (MSG) Since prayer is at the bottom of all this, what I want mostly is for men to pray—not shaking angry fists at enemies but raising holy hands to God. And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it. How many of us struggle to feel beautiful? Fear to look in the mirror? Or look, yet end up not liking what we see? How many of us fear the judgement of others? Fear not being able to know the sweet feeling of beauty?
1 Peter 3:3-4 "Don't be concerned about outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." "..You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within.." "...the beauty that comes from within.." Somewhere, somehow, those words have began to slip from my mind. In the mix of this world's ways, I've created a mindset that forgets my inner being, and sees only my outward self. And most the time, the lack of beauty it holds. It's about what I wear, or even what I don't wear. It's not just about the clothes and makeup I put on, but the body and face underneath. Am I pretty? Am I beautiful? I find myself in a battle to feel beautiful. To feel pretty. I struggle to find the beauty looking back at me in the mirror. No clothes are good enough. No jewelry, no makeup, no ribbon. Nothing can make this body look or feel beautiful. Am I alone? Or are there others who feel the same? "You should clothe yourself instead with the beauty that comes from within." It was those words right there that I let slip my mind. I let that simple truth become blocked away. My focus slipped from the beauty that lies from within. The beauty of Jesus Christ living inside my very soul. The beauty of a soul that bears the Spirit of the living Son. That's where my beauty lies. That's where your beauty lies. Seek out the beauty within. Seek out the presence of the Almighty God inside you. Allow it to transform your inner being. Your soul, your spirit, your heart. Then, and only then, will your outward appearance become transformed as well. Beauty will flow from your body, your lips, your actions, your life. Jesus will be reflected. Allow the presence of Jesus to make you feel beautiful on the inside so that the beauty on the outside can be revealed. Once that inner beauty is embraced, your outward beauty will shine through all on it's own. The power of the living God will do it's work and shine through. Find His beauty, and He'll clothe you in it. When I stop feeling beautiful, I close my eyes and look deep. I look for Jesus. I look for His light and presence within me. I search for the way to incredible, unending beauty. Everlasting beauty. And time and time again, God's mighty hands have captured this frail heart with His beauty. Open up. Look deep. Allow your beauty within to be found. Embrace it. 1 Peter 3:3-4 "Don't be concerned about outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." I often get asked the question, "What do you do?" Or, "What keeps you busy?"
My given response usually consists of the words "home and/or "family". And as you can imagine, it doesn't exactly come off as the most respected response. Especially for a 19 year girl. And an unmarried one at that. Being 19 years old now, 2 years out of high school, no college experience, and having no outside-the-home-job(aside from babysitting), people often wonder just what it is that I do. Well, my response is, I serve my family in my home. Now, here's where the questions and funny looks start pouring in. Maybe even a big stand still of silence occurs. But, funny looks and all, I proudly say, "I'm at home, serving my family". I believe God's greatest calling for a women is in the home. Married or not, there is serving to be done in the home. The world abandons the home. The world abandons the family. God doesn't. And I haven't. The world calls girls to leave. To go. To go off to college, to get a job, to move forward. To let go. To find their own way. And maybe even God has called you to do this. But God has called me elsewhere. God has called me to stay. To stay and serve. To serve right where I am, in my home...for the family He has so richly blessed me with. I've been given the opportunity to leave. To go to college, to get a job, to go off and do as the rest of the world does. But God has called me. And I have chosen. I have chosen to not take the "normal" or "expected" way. I have chosen God's way for me. For years it's been a struggle. The questions, the thinking, the praying, the wondering what it is that I'm supposed to do. I've watched others move forward. Go off, get married, go to school, get a full time job, become missionaries. Yet, God has called me to stay. To stay right where I am...yet, move forward in a tremendous way. I'm not gonna lie, I've struggled. I've struggled with the thought of watching others move forward while I stay. I question God. His purpose, His plan... And the truth is, in that questioning I miss out on the blessings laid behind the purpose. I no longer struggle. Now, don't get me wrong, I struggle! But I no longer struggle with where God has me. I no longer struggle with questions. I see the beauty of staying. I see the beauty of serving. I see the beauty of the home. I see the beauty of the family. I see the beauty of God...and the beauty in His ways and His plans. I spend my days serving my family in whatever way that it need be. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, holding a child, cleaning up a mess, finding shoes. Ya know, all that tedious, repetitive stuff. But guess what, it's more than that. It's getting a sad, broken child to laugh. It's spending time with my siblings and teaching each other life lessons. It's giving hugs and kisses to God's precious children. It's taking a walk and giving them that much needed bonding time. It's kissing an ow-wee and wiping tears from a hurting heart. It's opening a hand to a fallen child. It's opening an ear and shutting my mouth to a wounded, aching soul. It's delighting in my parents and finding ways to help their lives be easier. It's so much more. I struggle. I fail. I'm far from being the servant God as called me to be. But by letting go of the questions and setting aside the world's way of things, setting aside even my wants and desires, God has shown me the joy of doing such a thing. I know it's not possible for all girls or even all women to find themselves with the opportunity to stay in the home, but for those of you who do have the opportunity to do so, seize it! Delight in it! Take advantage of it. Use it. And those of you discouraged by being at home, don't be! Ask God to give you a new perspective. Don't let the rest of the world question you in where you are. Seize what God has for you. Whether it's serving in the home, or at work, or in another country, don't miss out on what God has for you. Just as Paul told Archippus in Colossians 4:17, we too are called by God to carry out the ministry, the task, the plan He has for us. Colossians 4:17 And say to Archippus, "Be sure to carry out the ministry the Lord gave you." If I let questions capture my thoughts, I'd miss out on family bonding and life-long memories. I'd miss out on becoming a better sister and daughter. I'd miss out on preparing myself to be a wife and mother. I'd miss out on learning to be a homemaker and housekeeper. I'd miss out on the lessons, the training, the changing, and the disciplining of God. I'd even miss the beauty of His glory being done in my life. Although, my own desire would be to one day be married myself and serve my own family in my own home, I'm not anxious. I'm satisfied. God has His way and His way for me right now is to be serving in the home He has me in. I won't let myself be robbed of that joy, thinking of what could be. I delight in His way, His plan, His home for me. So, funny looks and all, I proudly say, I'm at home, serving my family. 1 Timothy 4:12
“Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” This verse has always been one of my favorites. Being a young Christian, or should I say being a Christian that is young, does not make me any less capable than those who are older. From the moment I came to know Christ as my Savior and Lord, my goal has been to live in such a way that others might see Christ in me, even in my youth… especially in my youth! Being young has its sets of challenges and enticements. It’s been my desire to not use my youth as a hindrance or a waste, but as an example. To be an example in what I say, in the way I live, in my love, faith, and purity. However, often times I fall short of this and show myself to be the sinner I am. I confess that just the other day, I fell short once again….and it just so happened to be over something as simple as a shirt. Every 4th, I find it so fun to be able to find a festive shirt to wear. Every year it’s a struggle. They tend to be sold out, expensive, or immodest. The majority of the time when I am making clothing decisions, I don’t allow excuses for purchasing something I shouldn’t. But, as hard as it is to admit, I gave into something that wasn’t quite up to my standards this year… or maybe it wasn’t my standards, but God’s that I fell short of. Maybe to the world my festive shirt was cute, fun, and looked good in pictures. Maybe to me it was close to perfect and only slightly immodest…You know, “not that bad”...especially “compared to what everyone else is wearing”. BUT if that’s all it is, then I missed the whole point. It’s not about what others think or even what I think. It’s about what God thinks. I may have worn it the whole day and thought it was cute, but the fact of the matter is, the whole time I also felt that God was calling me to something higher. Something more. Something better. Deep down I knew when putting that on, it wasn’t what God desired of me. Sure, it was festive and fun and it looked good in pictures. But by giving in and wearing that, it meant failing. Failing to yield to the Holy Spirit’s conviction. Failing to rise above the world’s standards, and even my own standards, for the sake of the highest standard: God’s. Failing to stand out and lead as an example of Christ. Maybe the whole thing was completely harmless in the eyes of the world. But I know that’s not enough. I know that’s not ok. I know God’s standards are higher. I know He seeks more of me. I confess that I gave into the festivities, and my own selfish desires. I confess that my voice and the voice of the world began to speak louder than that of Gods. I allowed it to be so and my heart now aches because of it. How often is this true of myself? How often do I allow the world’s voice to speak louder than God’s? How often do I fail to yield to the Spirit’s conviction for the sake of myself or this world’s attention? How often do I sink to the world’s standards? How often do I fail to live and lead as the example God seeks me to be? Yes, often times it is my clothing that is a stumbling block. But more often than not, it’s other things too. Maybe what seems so harmless in our eyes and the eyes of the world is actually grieving God to the highest. It pains me to know that I had a chance to rise above and stand out for HIS sake, yet I gave that up for a silly shirt. It pains me to have felt the tug of conviction yet shoved it aside for something that is only important looking through the eyes of the world. Although my heart aches because of the choice I made, I’m thankful for the burden that God laid on my heart over this issue. After all, if our heart is not being burdened in some way by the conviction of the Holy Spirit, then is our heart really in the right place? Oh, how I pray that I would begin to silence my own voice and that of the world’s so that the voice of Christ’s is all that I can hear and respond to. I pray that all of us would stop living by the standards of this world and instead, seek out and live by God’s standards. Because no holiday, no hot weather, no special occasion, no anything is an excuse to be less than God’s best. Psalm 46:10
"Be still, and know that I am God. I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world." Oh, the greatness of such words. The truth and life and peace laid behind such words. The blessings that are received in response given to such words. Here I am; wondering, questioning, asking, thinking, trying, doing. And God's only request, His very only response is, "Be still and know that I am God." Like most, I get wrapped up in circumstances and problems and I let myself worry away in time. I'm anxious, stressed, and concerned about anything that seizes my control over things. After hours and days filled with worry, after constant praying and even the shedding of tears, God's only response is, "Be still and know that I am God." When my joy is gone and life seems out of control; when I'm searching and seeking out every area, every page, every inch of God's word looking for hope, looking for life, His only response is, "Be still and know that I am God." When I'm lost in the ways of the world trying to find a way out; when I'm alone trying to grab ahold of even the slightest glimpse of something, His only response to me is, "Be still and know that I am God." Even the times when I'm trying and thinking of ways to do something for Him. When I'm praying for ways to serve Him. After so many prayers and so much time gone by, His only response to me is, "Be still and know that I am God." I spend so much time trying to figure out what's next. Or asking why. Or worrying or wondering what's going on. What should I do? What should I BE doing? Or worse yet, I am doing... what I SHOULDN'T be. Why is it so hard to be still and know God? Why is it so hard to do nothing except take in the precious gift of life through Jesus Christ? Why is it so hard to focus on a love that entirely shapes my very being? Why is it so hard to set my eyes on His Sovereignty? Why is it so hard to just be quiet and receive the grace, and truth, and love of God? Why? Because I am broken. Because I am a sinner. Because I am selfish. Because I am human. I take my eyes from Him and put them on myself. I take my focus of what should be on Him and I put it on me. Instead of being still and seeing and knowing Him, I run a hundred miles per hour doing everything in my OWN power just to wind up going no where. What if I, no! What if we were all to just be still and know God? What if we were to stop running, stop searching, stop trying and were to be still instead? What if we were to be still and knowGod? To know Him, to see Him, to hear Him? To take our eyes and hearts from ourselves and see His goodness, His sovereignty, His love? What if we were to be still and know God? Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world." It is in that simple response, to be still and know God, that He is honored and glorified. It is when we let go of our worry, our questions, our thinking, our doing, and our way, and we sit in silence taking in God's greatness that His glory is revealed. It's in the moments of quieting ourselves and finding His holiness and His sovereignty, that His grace, and His mercy, and His love flow. It is letting go of our circumstances and letting God be God. It is in that that He is honored. It is then that He is glorified. And in all that, we are given such a stillness, such a peace that there's nothing more to do than be still and know God. What if we all were to be still and know God? The other day I got woke up nice and early by my little brother wanting juice. And if you know me, you know I don't sleep well the way it is so you can imagine I didn't start out very happy about this at all. Buuuutt I got up anyway to get Jedidiah some juice and after I got up I realized the sun was starting to rise. And it just so happened to be a very foggy morning. The morning air was filled with moisture! It was just beautiful! So being me, I thought it would be a good opportunity to capture some good pictures.
So I went out and started snapping away and as I was looking through the pictures I noticed in every one of them the sun just glistened through the fog. It completely over-powered it. No matter how thick the fog was, the sun made its way through! It really got me thinking.... How often in my life does it seem like there is a thick fog over everything? How often is my perspective clouded by some trial or mess? How often is my life just like the fog that is clouding the view of the sunrise? So often I let things get in the way of my view of God, and the things He is trying to show me. I live a life clouded by fog, by trials, by circumstances. I let pain, and hurt, and evil, even people(!) cloud my view of God. Instead of looking through it, I let it blur my view and drown out the light that is seeping through. Have you ever noticed that as soon as the sun comes out the fog disappears? Well Jesus, the Light of the world(John 8:12-"Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, "I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life."),can wipe away the foggy, clouded mess of our lives, just like the sun does to that fog. We just have to look past it to see the light. Allow Him to seep through the fog of things and light up your world. If we would just look to Him, our vision, our perspective, would no longer be clouded, but full of light. So just as I started out my morning, unhappy and looking at things the wrong way, I let my vision be clouded. I let the fog cover up the light. I let my own perspective keep God from shining His light on me. I saw being woke up that early as a terrible thing. But when I finally looked passed the fog, I saw His light. I saw the beauty of that morning and the beauty of His lesson to me. I saw the Sun shine through the fog. I saw the Son of God, the Light of the world, shine through my fog-filled vision, and give me view of His light. And once I took that in, I was able to rejoice in being awake so early. I got to praise God for such beauty and for such a wonderful opportunity! The morning was no longer terrible, it was a blessing. So I challenge you, along with myself, to not let the challenges and trials and messes of this life fog out your vision of God, but instead, look through them and see the Light shining through to you. God's Light overpowers all things, just as the sun overpowers the fog... :) Are you so busy drowning your woes in bitter longing that you can't see your single years for the beautiful stage that they are to glorify the Lord in an exciting context?"
As I have learned from my own life, and from the conversations I've had with my other girls, it seems it's so easy for us girls to become discouraged in our time of waiting for Mr. Right to come along. We see everyone else's stories come together, yet ours still hasn't. It's hard to be patient and wait for that time to come. It's hard to not get discouraged. It's hard to persevere and hold your head high. I know it is. But I'm here to tell you today...Do not be dismayed. Do not be dismayed. For you are not alone. There are so, sooo many girls out there waiting just like you for the right man to come along. You can't always see it, and most of the time you think no one else knows what it feels like, but you're wrong. You are not alone. Do not be dismayed. For now is a time to draw near to the Lord. "Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world." James 4:8 ...Mr. Right isn't here yet, but God is. It's time to fill your longing for a future husband with a longing for God. How can you fully love someone when you don't fully love God? Love God first, then He'll give you the love you need for someone else. "May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ." 2 Thessalonians 3:5 Deuteronomy 6:5: "And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength." Do not be dismayed. For now is the time to learn contentment. "Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have." Philippians 4:11.. If you aren't content now, how will you be content when your married? You must learn to be content now, in this stage. You must learn to be content being single and you must learn to be content in whichever state you are in. There will be stages in marriage that will flare up huge opportunities for discontentment.. but if you can learn to be content now, you'll be all the better off when those times of discontentment arise in marriage. Contentment now, brings contentment later. "Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth." 1 Timothy 6:6 Do not be dismayed. For now is a time to prepare yourself. This is a time to learn skills of being a wife and a mother. A time to learn to cook, clean, do laundry, care for a family, and care for a home. And most of all, a time to learn how to serve your husband. Don't sit around looking for guys and worrying about who it could be, or why it's taking so long. Get up and prepare yourself. Cook a meal, babysit someone's kid, help your mom or dad with something. There are numerous things that being a wife is going to consist of. And you most likely aren't prepared for a lot of those things. So start preparing now. Now is the time to develop the numerous skills necessary in being a wife. Study Proverbs 31. Learn what it means to be a true, serving, God-honoring wife and mother. Now's the time. What a sad thing it would be if the right man came along and you weren't prepared to serve him the way he needs to be served. Do not be dismayed. For now is a time to fix any flaws you have. Wouldn't it be nice to have those awful habits and sins gone before the man you love comes into your life and has to deal with them? We aren't perfect and never will be... But there is so much we can work on and rid ourselves of. And now is the time to start. You know what you need to work on...And if you don't, ask your parents. Or a close friend that really knows you. If all else, just work on beauty within. Work on becoming a woman of obedience, submission, and reverence. Work on building character and a tender heart. Work on developing a gentle and quiet spirit. 1 Peter says, "Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." Do not be dismayed. For now is a time to serve. Now is a time to use YOUR time to serve God. Ask Him what it is that He wants you to do. There are many ways of serving. "God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another." 1 Peter 4:10 Romans 12:11 "Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically." Matthew 20:28 "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many." Do not be dismayed. For now is the time to pray for your future husband. Pray, pray, pray! You can be praying right now for the life of your future husband, even if you don't know who it is! Pray for God to give him a heart that desires to bring Him praise. Pray for his protection. Pray for him to have strength and discernment. Pray for him to have patience to wait for you. Pray that he would resist temptation. Just pray for Him. I know for a fact that he needs your prayers. God is using you to serve him right now, even before you meet! And He is doing it through your prayers! I highly recommend the book "Praying for your future husband" by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer. Psalm 65:5 "You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds, O God our savior. You are the hope of everyone on earth, even those who sail on distant seas." 1 John 5:14-15 "And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for. " Do not be dismayed ladies. For now is an opportunity for many things. God has you here for a reason. Rejoice and conquer in it. Who you are as a single lady will be who you are as a married woman. If you not content, you won't be content in marriage. If you are lazy, you will be lazy in marriage. If you aren't submissive to your parents and authority, you won't be submissive to your husband. If you're a liar and disrespectful, you'll be both to your husband during marriage. So start now, prepare yourself. Love God, and serve Him. Instead of spending every minute of your lives thinking of that man or of who he'll be, look into your own life and start preparing for when he comes. I highly suggest reading the book "Preparing to be a Help Meet," by Debi Pearl for more insight. Also we need to not look at every guy as a possibility, but instead, look at them as brothers in Christ and develop healthy friendships with him instead of making everything into a love game. Remember, you aren't alone. There are many of us waiting and there are many of us preparing. I am one. "To spend my unmarried years discontently counting the moments until I'm married-if I marry- missing out on all the blessings and opportunities the Lord has provided for me here and now, for his glory...that would truly be a waste." Jasmine Baucham Isaiah 40:31 "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." *top quote by Jasmine Baucham as well* Valentine’s Day. Some love it. Most hate it. If you're anything like me right now you've probably been dreading the whole thought of it. For most of us it just seems to be a big, huge reminder that your single, lonely, and for some, even broken.
We all think Valentine's Day is a big day for that special someone in our life to show us we mean something. Or to spoil us with candy, flowers, and mushy things. We all want to know we are wanted. We are thought about. We are special enough to receive something from someone. Deep down, even if you deny it, we all want a valentine. But how many of us end up going through the day without a special someone? Without receiving something? Without feeling wanted? Feeling as if no one out there cares. Like everyone around us is loved, cherished, and wanted? Yet, you aren't? Well I have news for you. You ARE wanted. You are wanted by your Great Creator. The God that gave you life. The God that yearns to show you His love each and every day. He wants to be your Valentine. Your special someone. He wants to make YOU feel wanted. Feel loved. Feel special. To feel unforgotten. What are you waiting for? Why spend so much time waiting for someone else to make you feel special when God is waiting right now for the opportunity to sweep you off your feet? He wants the same thing you want. He wants to love and be loved. He wants to show you what true romance and intimacy is. He wants you. To love YOU. John and Stasi Eldridge wrote in their book "Captivating" that "God delights in revealing himself to those who will seek him with all their hearts. He is an extravagant, abundant Lover, and he loves to reveal his heart to us again and again." Why not let Him? Let him captivate you. Let him show you his love. Seek after Him as well. You won't be disappointed. I know I wasn't. Just a couple months ago, my heart was broken. I was left to feel unwanted. I struggled through the pain of feeling unloved, unspecial. Like I wasn't good enough to be loved. I hurt, a lot. Every day since they have started talking about Valentine's Day my heart has ached. I've completely dreaded the thought of past memories being brought up. I dreaded being reminded that I'm broken and unloved. I've dreaded being reminded that I'm alone. But God. God! God came to me and said "Let me love you and you won't be lonely. Let me love you and you won't be unwanted. Let me love you and you will be special. Let me love you, and romance you, and show you what it means to truly, and completely be loved. Let me love you and you won't be disappointed." My heart overflows with joy and my face streams with tears because God has done just that for me. I let Him show me His love and I will forever be satisfied. I can't even begin to describe to you the joy that comes from such a love. Let Him show you love! Why waste our time waiting for flowers and candy and useless toys when God has so much more to offer. “God’s version of flowers and chocolates and candlelight dinners comes in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies; warm wind, swaying trees, lush gardens, and fierce devotions.”(Captivating by John Stasi Eldredge) How’s that for a valentine surprise?Why waste our time searching for a love that may disappoint and fade away? Why not surrender your searching and let God love you? Let Him love you with such a love that will never fade away. That you will never be separated from. Romans 8:38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. His love always remains. It never fails. It never disappoints. It never weakens. It only satisfies. God brought me LOVE. It picked me up and turned me around. It filled my loneliness with such joy and peace and happiness that I can't possibly search for such a love anywhere else. My tears of sorrow are now tears of joy. I want you to experience the same. He is waiting for your response. Will you be His valentine? Ephesians 3:18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. If you don’t already know, I am second born. I’ve been put under an older brother and placed above 8 younger siblings. That’s right; I’m a sister to 9 people. If that isn’t a load of craziness I don’t know what is! I’ve never really given much thought to it but for the past couple years or so I’ve struggled with what this really means for me. Where is my place? Who am I to be as both a younger sister and an older sister? Who am I to be as a sister period? Being a sister has to mean more than “Hey I’m a girl and I got myself a sibling!” right?
I know God has given me this place for a reason. But what is it supposed to consist of? What is it to mean? What is the purpose of being a sister? I’ve ignored what this means for so many years. Infact, I’ve been completely oblivious to it. I’ve never looked at being a sister as meaning something. I’ve never looked at being a sister as having power. And if I have, it’s been in the wrong way. I’ve used it as a way to boss, to control, to challenge, and to discourage. I’ve even used it have personal lil servants. I’ve looked at it as I SHOULD be equal to my older brother and I’m superior to my younger siblings. But is that what God really wants? That may be what the world shows as a sister being, but is that what God says it is? God has revealed to me the answer to that is no. He has shown me that He has placed me in the lives of my siblings, as both a younger and an older sister, to be used for much greater purpose. To honor Him, and serve them. He has shown me that it is more than just being there to tell them what to do, but to instead help them do what needs to be done. Instead of control them, serve them. Being a sibling is a HUGE opportunity to give of yourself for someone else. An opportunity to serve. ("You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13) God made us free. And through that freedom He called us to serve Him and others with love. What better opportunity than to do so with your own siblings? Being a sibling isn’t a way to be served and please ourselves, rather it is to be used as an opportunity to serve our siblings rather than ourselves. “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:28. Being a sister, especially an older sister, is more than just bossing your siblings around telling them what messes to clean up, but instead, leading them. Showing them how to serve. Showing them how to clean things up by doing it yourself first and being an example. Being a sister should be more than just directing your younger siblings around at home, but instead, it should also be a way of pointing the way to God’s love and His glory. Encourage them to strive for a relationship with Christ. Show them through your own life the greatness of being close to the Lord. As an older sibling I know my siblings look up to me. I know they watch me each and everyday. What a perfect opportunity for me to show them the light of the Lord in my life! Instead of showing them how to cause trouble and disobey my parents, shouldn't I be teaching them to love the Lord and to honor my parents? God has shown me it’s more than just being their sister, but also being their friend. Their best friend. Picking them up, encouraging them, enjoying them, spending time with them, and lovingthem. Being a sister means showing love, and compassion. Showing sensitivity to their hurts. Giving them a hand, or a heart. Listening, opening up, guiding. Being a sister should mean looking up to my older brother and showing him respect and love, not striving to be better than him. As a sister, I should be showing by example what my brothers should be looking for in a wife, not showing them that women are nightmares. As an older sister I should be teaching my sisters what it means to be a lady and what it means to follow after God’s own heart, not competing and arguing with them. Instead of investing in myself, I should be investing in them. Being a sister should mean taking the time to pray with, pray over, and pray for my siblings. Being a sister to me no longer means just sharing the same last name and living with a bunch of kids everyday. Instead, it now means investing in their lives. Serving them, helping them, encouraging them, praying for them, leading them. Giving them the gift of friendship. God has called me to something greater. He didn’t intend for me to take being a sister for granted. Or to use it to mistreat my siblings. But instead, to be used for His purpose. For His glory. To advance His kingdom. I’ve gone through the years learning it’s not easy being a sister. Both a younger and an older one. I’ve learned it’s not always easy having an older brother who constantly challenges your patience and puts you to the test. Or having 5 yay-who younger brothers constantly pushing me closer to becoming a mad woman. I’ve learned it’s not always easy coming to an agreement with 2 stubborn sisters. Or having the next spot in line to change diapers when mom and dad aren’t around. I’ve learned whatever difficulty being a sister of 9 can bring. But I’ve also learned through the difficulties what it’s like to have best friends, and cuddle buddies, and hunting partners. I’ve gotten the opportunity to see sweet babies become toddlers. I’ve watched them grow taller and develop personalities. I’ve gotten the opportunity to do makeup and hair with my sisters, and go fishing with my brothers. I’ve been blessed. You can’t tell me there isn’t meaning and purpose in being a sister, because I have learned firsthand that isn’t true. I know I am FAR from being the sister I need to be. The reason I am writing this is because God has pointed out to me just how far that is. I need God and I need His grace. I need a thousand second chances. I need help, guidance, and prayer. So pray for me. And pray with me! Pray for me to be the person I need to be in my siblings lives and pray for all those other sisters out there. Walk along side me. Take on the purpose of being a sister with me. Challenge yourself to be the sister God wants you to be. The sister your siblings need you to be. See what it is God is calling you to be as a sister. I know being a sister is not to be taken lightly, but to be looked upon as a gift from God. A gift that has purpose. A purpose that needs prayer and guidance and discipline. I know God made me a sister for a reason. And each day He is gives me an opportunity to strive even closer to what He means for that to be. He is a loving, guiding Father full of second chances and I’m blessed to be loved by Him. I’m so glad He has placed me in this family. I’m so glad He placed me right where He wanted me. I’m so glad He made me a sister. “A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.” Marion C. Garretty Who am I but human? Who am I but weak. Who am I but filled with sorrow, depression, worry, doubt, and fear. Who am I but helpless. Who am I but frail?
1. frail Adjective 1. (of a person) Weak and delicate. 2. Easily damaged or broken; fragile or insubstantial. Synonyms fragile – weak – delicate – feeble – brittle – tender Who is God? Who is God but sovereign, holy, victorious, powerful, conquering. Who is God but MIGHTY. The Almighty. might·y Adjective Possessing great and impressive power or strength. Synonyms adjective. powerful - strong - potent - forceful - vigorous I am delicate. I am weak. I am broken. But I am not alone. I have a Sovereign God holding my precious heart in His Mighty hands. I have a God who turns my weakness into strength. My fear into trust. My doubt into confidence. My worry into peace. My sorrow into joy. My brokenness into fullness. My emptiness into completeness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. God takes this frail being and turns it into something great. Who am I without Him? I am convinced, I am nothing. But now, because of Him, I am something. I can take this frail heart of mine and begin to reach out. Begin to grow. Begin to conquer. Psalm 66:9 9Our lives are in his hands, and he keeps our feet from stumbling. I may be weak but He is not. And it’s Him who holds my life. I don’t even want to try to make this life my own. It’s already His. I trust my life in His hands. Psalm 68:19 19 Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms. Jayden |
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